The Slapdash Cook

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We’re obsessed with rice pilaf around here. Leftovers rarely last 24 hours. Because the rice-sauteeing stage is boring, and because I love the slow cooker, I decided to try doing it in the slow cooker. At first, I thought I’d only be able to do the sauteeing part in the slow cooker and then move the rice to the stovetop, but some Googling revealed that, in fact, rice can be made in the slow cooker without many, if any, changes.

Results: Mixed. Due either to an error in judgment or the water content of my veggies, the rice came out kind of gluey, although not like outright paste, which was a problem for some of the people who posted recipes. I also forgot to rinse the rice, which was totally my fault. So I’m trying it again with less liquid, because I very much liked not having to stand over the stuff while it cooked.

Slapdash Rice Pilaf
This recipe is very flexible, as long as you keep the rice-to-water ratio even. Throw in whatever you think would taste good with the rest of your meal.

2 tb olive oil or butter (a lot, but kinda necessary to make the consistency of the rice come out right. Cook’s Illustrated suggested THREE tablespoons! If you aren’t watching cholesterol or dairy, you might as well use real butter for the flavor.)
1/4 to 1/2 onion
1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of any other veggies you wanna saute (yellow crookneck squash was used here)
Any dried fruit you think would be nice in the pilaf
1/4 cup split peas (optional — you might also use lentils, but I’d want to soak them first because I think they take more time to cook.)
1 cup rice
A small amount of Chinese noodles (what I used) or spaghetti, broken up into smallish pieces. Let’s say 20 noodles before breaking.
2 cups broth or boullion of your choice. I usually dilute boullion because it’s sooo salty, but don’t bother here — salty is good for pilaf, at least in J’s estimation (he’s used to the boxed ones from the grocery store). You might even want to add a little salt.
Dried mushrooms — optional but nice. I have a ton of dried shiitakes that were reasonably priced at 99 Ranch Market.
Chopped veggies, nuts, etc.

Heat your slow cooker on high with the olive oil or butter. (Or low if you have the time. I ain’t trippin’.) Add the onions and — this is important — remove the lid so that the steam isn’t trapped. It needs to be dry so the rice-to-water ratio isn’t messed up. Ignore 1-2 hours, stirring whenever, until soft.

Add any vegetables that need cooking. Ignore another 1-2 hours, stirring whenever, with the lid off.

Rinse your rice off! Don’t forget like me! Add rice and noodles to slow cooker. Ignore, stirring occasionally, until noodles have been toasted. I got impatient here, but I’m guessing it was another hour or so.

Meanwhile, if you have dried mushrooms, boil your broth, stock or boullion, then add the mushrooms, weigh them down with a plate and let them soak for a while. The goal is to get the lovely mushroom flavor out.

If using dried mushrooms, strain broth to get any schmutz out. Add broth and any split peas or dried fruit to slow cooker. Stir to get everything nicely oily.

Cover and cook until done. Internet recipes said this would take 3-4 hours on high; it ended up being more like an hour and a half for me. So you’ll probably need to check every now and then.

When rice is done, use a fork to “fluff” (? — but recipes all use that word) the rice and stir in the ingredients you didn’t want to cook. I used red bell pepper, but I’ve also used nuts and frozen peas in the past. Take the pot part of the slow cooker out, put it on a kitchen towel to protect the counter and put another kitchen towel over the rice. Put the lid back on and ignore it for at least 10 minutes. The recipes say this steams the rice some more, and in the interest of fluffy rice, I do what I’m told.

The end! Feed to J as a side dish, or add some protein and make it a main dish. Do not expect leftovers.